5 years ago I started working with my parts. 4 years ago I started working with other people to help them access their parts. And now this is my job, my business. I asked 3 of my parts what my job is.

My Higher Self said: It is tapping into your highest potential and allowing it to soar.

Flowers, my femininity, my power said: It is the way to bring your true essence, your beauty to the fore.

No (short for No Means No), the part of me that holds my mission steady said: It is the true embodiment of your mission.

None of that helped me find a job title! And all of it helped me see that I am doing what I am meant to be doing. Being able to tap into parts of me, hearing each of their voices, helps me to find the truth of who I am and how I can live fully in my purpose.

There is a part of me that used to be called my Project Manager. This part is never active when I’m with clients, except to remind me about potential schedule clashes. 

I sit on the leadership committees of two organisations. The Project Manager needed to be in control of everything, not just my work but the work of everybody involved in the organisations I work with. This energy led to frustration, anger and a sense of being out of control in all aspects of my life. I went to speak to this part while drafting this post to see what it is they need to feel aligned to my mission. These are their words:

I was known as the project manager. I was trying to control everything. I do fully support Astrid’s mission. I see her worth. I see the value of her mission. I do not need to be in control. I can support her to be a little more organised without being lost in the detail, without trying to control everything. I can be supportive and organised and remember what needs to be remembered. I can be called Charlotte. 

When speaking to Charlotte, as she is now known, she found that her need to be in control of everything was not serving me, not serving my greatest good. Was having a negative impact on my self worth. 

These opportunities to speak with the parts of me that hold my actions, that are born of needs in earlier parts of my life, help me to transform in a deep way, to change how I move through the world, to feel more aligned with who I really am at my core. 

I still don’t have a job title I’m happy with. But I know what I do. And I know the power of this work that I do for myself and for others.

Last week I had two board meetings. I work with two different organisations in two different continents. Both support people to be better versions of themselves and both do an amazing job of it. And last week I saw the difference that focussing on the workand not the job can have.

For both meetings I had done a large amount of preparation - crazy amounts of time considering they are both unpaid roles. I had spreadsheets and meeting outlines and plans into the future and gentle ways of bringing conflict to a close. And in one of the meetings, something astonishing happened.

After my many, many hours of work, there were substantial changes to my proposal. I was tired, frustrated and when my colleagues noticed I looked a little ‘pensive’ I went to my emotions. I felt hurt, like the work I’d done wasn’t good enough, like I wasn’t good enough. And in this board meeting I asked for what I needed. And I got it.

We stopped the meeting. We processed the pain. We followed the emotion back to the original wound, found the part that was hurt, showed her the truth and took her out of the memory, brought her to my Sacred Space where she felt safe and nurtured and loved, and then filled that space with healing light. Took about 15 minutes. I was no longer emotional. I felt safe in my adult self.

I was apprehensive about going to the next meeting, having just done quite a deep piece of work. I thought there was a strong chance that I hadn’t had enough time to fully integrate what had just happened.

And I went to the meeting. And it was hard. And it didn’t go according to my painstakingly detailed plan. And it went to all sorts of places that, although I kind of anticipated them, I didn’t want us to go to. There were substantial changes to my plan in a highly emotional and volatile meeting. And I was fine. I accepted that we needed to follow what was required. The emotional reaction that I’d had in the first meeting simply wasn’t there in the second.

This is what I mean by doing the work. If something comes up, something emotional that is stronger than the experience warrants, then it relates to your past, often your childhood. Imagine if you could simply heal that wound in a short session and then move about your business knowing that it’s “better”. Imagine the peace of mind that comes with knowing that you are unlikely to react in the same way again. That next time someone substantively changes the work you’ve done, you’ll be able to react from the adult, be able to see that this is the best course for the organisation and that without the preparation that you had done, you probably wouldn’t have found the way forward, that the changes are simply building on what you’ve already achieved. 

Much like in life. You’ll change direction, you’ll move to new versions of your life, yourself, because you’re building on what you’ve already achieved. And if you can go back and make those foundations stronger, stabler, more able to bear the weight of your wonder, imagine where you can go.

I am so honoured to work with the people I do, people that not only work to empower others, but work to empower each other. Before anything. We look after each other. Because if the foundations are unstable, the building, the business is unstable. And we are the foundations.